Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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