i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize