yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
