Need sex. Gaining weight.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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