I want to make a zoo with you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
