how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
