he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
