Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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