So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
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I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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