Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sponge bath it is.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
