Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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