i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
