dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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