she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
