he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just want nice things and good sex
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
