this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
