D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
