She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
