Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
