yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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