he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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