At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
