you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
handjob tips. give me some.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize