I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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