I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
