Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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