do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
