i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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