If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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