I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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