I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
