Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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