oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
