I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize