I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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