Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
