R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
