just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
