This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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