YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
