I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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