Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
