1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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