The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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