Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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