My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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