Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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