I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize