how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
