You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
