I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
