I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
