is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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