I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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