i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
