Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Success! We fucked roommates!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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