Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
