bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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