My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
