If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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