38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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