have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
