Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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