in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
