guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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