Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
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We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
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i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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