Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize