let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
