Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm like, not good at living.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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