Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
