Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
