hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she smelled like a LAN party
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
